Self- Care? How Selfish?

3 minute read

It’s interesting, that when we care for something or someone, it involves the heart, a sense of love, in order for the care to be sustained.

Caring is just that- we care . We have an involvement based on the value we give someone or something. If there is little value attached to who or what we are caring for, we will not be able to engage emotionally and therefore be unable to sustain that care, without feeling drained.

This is true of caring for myself as well. If I believe that I am of little value, the motivation to care for ‘me’ will be low or absent. It may even feel wrong?

A fairly common response is, that if I was to say that I love or care for myself, it would mean that I was selfish or self- centred.

There is another perspective to that thought which says, that life is like a bridge with a road running across it .One end of the bridge has a pylon called  ‘Self -Responsibility’ (self- care) and the other end has a pylon called ‘Love’ (for others). We are designed to flow freely and flexibly across the bridge, not to be rigidly attached to one end or the other.( concept-Dr John W Travis, the ‘Wellness Workbook’).

If we find ourselves unable to care for others, we will have a deficit in life. If we find ourselves unable to care for ourselves, we will also have a deficit in life. Either of these love deficits is very harmful to the whole of our life. Fortunately though, we can grow these places in our lives and come into a fruitful and satisfying love of self and others.

                     A true definition of well being !